Ok, so this blog post certainly will not apply to everyone. To be able to do this you need to have a parent who was born in Canada. For the sake of this post lets just say that you do, so why do you want citizenship to another country eh? Well for starters things like criminal records and credit don't generally follow you across borders if you fall into this category, if you were immigrating then a criminal history would, but since Canada doesn't really bother with that if you have a parent who was born in Canada you don't need to worry about it. So, in theory, you could fuck up your record and credit in your home country, as well as default on things like student loans, move and start over. Sounds like a good thing to have just in case shit takes a turn for the worse. Plus there is the whole national health care thing that Canada has, which is a pretty fucking good idea, oh and the whole more rights, less people in jail, shit like that.
So since you have a Canadian parent you are by default a Canadian citizen, provided they didn't renounce their citizenship or anything stupid like that. So go here http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/citizenship/proof.asp fill out the application and go to a professional photographer to get these 2 photos done, they are different from passport photos so no you can't do it at costco. Fill the form out carefully and don't make any mistakes, sign it correctly and get your supporting documents. For me I used an original birth certificate from me and my father, you can get these from Canada, just do a google search if you dont have a birth certificate from your Canadian parent. I also sent in my college ID and drivers license for supporting documents, you can use certified copies, but then they are gonna check and it will slow things down, and if you are like me (a demanding child) you pretty much want everything done the second you have the though.
So, everything is in order and you are gonna send it in, wait, don't send it in yet. The processing time for these is over 10 months, which is far to long. But yes, there is a loophole. Ok so to get your paperwork expedited you need to have a reason, and they give you examples of what is acceptable on their website. Sooooo, lie they aren't gonna check to see if your reason is valid they process thousands of these things. I used the "I need access to health care because i am relocating." I actually am relocating so it wasn't a lie, but that really makes no difference. I just wrote a short paragraph letter and stuffed it in with my packet and wrote on the envelope "Urgent need for Citizenship proof" in a giant red sharpie and sent it in.
So does it work? Yep, I had mine sent to me in 3 weeks, fuck that whole waiting for 10 months bullshit.
Friday, January 14, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
AA, and how to get out of it LEGALLY.
Disclaimer: None of this is legal advise, always contact a qualified attorney before engaging in legal matters. I am NOT responsible for anything you do. This is for information purposes only. I in no way condone drinking and driving.
The USA is very different than most nations in the world when it comes to drinking and driving. First off most of the USA, geographically speaking, is suburban and rural communities. We don't have great, or even existent, public transportation outside of major cities and even then, it is would be like taking a donkey through London. So essentially Americans are forced to drive everywhere, as you can see there is a problem with this when it comes to social events that involve alcohol.
So, whats the problem, besides drinking and driving?
As Americans we effectively have the worst media in the wold. Those spin happy extremist pinheads coupled with greedy legislatures who are up for re-election create a real mess. None of the above issues (like public transport) are ever debated, or even mentioned, the only issue that is labeled as the problem is alcohol, and the only solution to that is harsher penalties (ya know, because locking up more people than any other country in the world is not enough apparently.) Quickly after the media gets hold of this weeks story groups start to sprout up, (like MADD for example) yelling wildly about some stranger who got killed, then the tee shirts are made, people are donating their hard earned money because the TV told them to and before you know it the group with the loudest yell has attracted that politician who is up for re-election and he is now "taking a stand" against alcohol.......... and that is how you make a law. (school house rock is full of shit) Despite the fact that the dude probably has a few dui's himself.
OK, but stiffer laws mean less drinking and driving and they can get help if they it need right? Wrong
There is no empirical evidence that shows harsher laws having a direct correlation with lower rates of drinking and driving. In fact, it is almost impossible to measure because getting a correct sample would mean arrest rates at 100%.....not the estimated 7% it is now. Sure, you can do a survey, but those are notoriously inaccurate and depend on the population being honest.....ya fucking right. The courts are entertaining the idea of "treatment," so I guess that's a step in the right direction, albeit a frickin baby step. The courts have screwed it up again by mandating that treatment programs follow state guidelines that were written by monkeys who know effectively nothing about current treatments or basic medicine for that matter. So what do they do, they mandate AA of course.
AA is not about “god” though, and I mean it works doesn't it?
Ok, dispite the fact that the Supreme Court has ruled that AA IS in fact a religious group or "practices religious activities" the entire group is cult in nature and uses a "higher power" to "heal" you of your disease. Ya, because when my grandma got cancer, another disease, it wasn't the kimo therapy or medicine that saved her, it was her higher power (epic face palm). The fact that our own government blatantly ignores, evolution, homology, biology, and medicine is god damn shameful. Oh and there's the whole 5% published success rate that AA displays, which happens to be the same percentage of people who quit drinking without any treatment what so ever, ya go fuckin figure.
Without going to much into AA in this posting, and if you are interested, here is a great site. The guy has put a ton of research into it and it is very well written, at the bottom there is a paypal donation if you would like to support his work.
http://www.orange-papers.org/
So now we gotta get out of court mandated AA! Finally: Heres how
There are effectively two ways to get out of court mandated AA, that I am aware of and I am pretty damn good at finding loopholes. It is my speciality. The first is to go before the Judge and tell him that it is a First Amendment violation, you need to come prepared if you are stupid enough to try this, relevant pages linked with the court rulings below for those who want to waste your time
court rulings, AA First Amendment violation links > http://courtdecisionsandrulings.com/court-ordered-12-step-attendance-is-illegal.html
The best way to get out of AA (and I have and am currently doing this) is to not actually get out of AA. Weird huh, ok so prepare to get terribly bored while I explain how this works. Because of the structure of AA, it is built on expansion through anonymous members and survives on donations. Ok, not really a big loophole there but here is the gaping hole, in the group startup requirements that a good little scoundrel like me will exploit until forced to do otherwise. “All it takes to start an AA group is two or more poeple with a passion to get sober.” PFFFF you gotta be kidding, me and my friend will do that.
Step 1: Go here http://www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=367
Step 2: Click on the PDF to the right and fill out the form
Step 3: Make sure you check the box marked “mail contact”
Step 4: Fill in 2 days at some ridiculous time ie. 3:50am
Step 5: Put in your phone number (prepay then throw away is best) and use your address, a unknowing friends or a drop box for the address
Step 6: Mail off and wait, once you mail it off they will reply to you in about 6 weeks, from the general service office in New York, you will get a group ID number and they will also send you literature in a few weeks (promptly burn on arrival)
Step 7: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, if anyone asks about your group your ONLY answer is “yes it is registered, everything else is anonymous” if anyone asks who attends or what you talk about “it’s anonymous” should be the only fucking thing out of your mouth, none of this explain what you did bullshit, people are stupid and will ruin it.
Step 8: Kick back and watch everyone who is court mandated to go to AA and laugh (on the inside of course) outward laughter would warrant suspicion.
There you have it, you are now out of court mandated AA, hell you are an over achiever you started your own damn group you should be awarded. Now if you choose to “not” hold any meetings and say you did, or have an imaginary friend be your second body to start the group, no one will ever know. Provided you keep it to yourself.
So, where’s my Medal......it’s ok i’ll wait
The USA is very different than most nations in the world when it comes to drinking and driving. First off most of the USA, geographically speaking, is suburban and rural communities. We don't have great, or even existent, public transportation outside of major cities and even then, it is would be like taking a donkey through London. So essentially Americans are forced to drive everywhere, as you can see there is a problem with this when it comes to social events that involve alcohol.
So, whats the problem, besides drinking and driving?
As Americans we effectively have the worst media in the wold. Those spin happy extremist pinheads coupled with greedy legislatures who are up for re-election create a real mess. None of the above issues (like public transport) are ever debated, or even mentioned, the only issue that is labeled as the problem is alcohol, and the only solution to that is harsher penalties (ya know, because locking up more people than any other country in the world is not enough apparently.) Quickly after the media gets hold of this weeks story groups start to sprout up, (like MADD for example) yelling wildly about some stranger who got killed, then the tee shirts are made, people are donating their hard earned money because the TV told them to and before you know it the group with the loudest yell has attracted that politician who is up for re-election and he is now "taking a stand" against alcohol.......... and that is how you make a law. (school house rock is full of shit) Despite the fact that the dude probably has a few dui's himself.
OK, but stiffer laws mean less drinking and driving and they can get help if they it need right? Wrong
There is no empirical evidence that shows harsher laws having a direct correlation with lower rates of drinking and driving. In fact, it is almost impossible to measure because getting a correct sample would mean arrest rates at 100%.....not the estimated 7% it is now. Sure, you can do a survey, but those are notoriously inaccurate and depend on the population being honest.....ya fucking right. The courts are entertaining the idea of "treatment," so I guess that's a step in the right direction, albeit a frickin baby step. The courts have screwed it up again by mandating that treatment programs follow state guidelines that were written by monkeys who know effectively nothing about current treatments or basic medicine for that matter. So what do they do, they mandate AA of course.
AA is not about “god” though, and I mean it works doesn't it?
Ok, dispite the fact that the Supreme Court has ruled that AA IS in fact a religious group or "practices religious activities" the entire group is cult in nature and uses a "higher power" to "heal" you of your disease. Ya, because when my grandma got cancer, another disease, it wasn't the kimo therapy or medicine that saved her, it was her higher power (epic face palm). The fact that our own government blatantly ignores, evolution, homology, biology, and medicine is god damn shameful. Oh and there's the whole 5% published success rate that AA displays, which happens to be the same percentage of people who quit drinking without any treatment what so ever, ya go fuckin figure.
Without going to much into AA in this posting, and if you are interested, here is a great site. The guy has put a ton of research into it and it is very well written, at the bottom there is a paypal donation if you would like to support his work.
http://www.orange-papers.org/
So now we gotta get out of court mandated AA! Finally: Heres how
There are effectively two ways to get out of court mandated AA, that I am aware of and I am pretty damn good at finding loopholes. It is my speciality. The first is to go before the Judge and tell him that it is a First Amendment violation, you need to come prepared if you are stupid enough to try this, relevant pages linked with the court rulings below for those who want to waste your time
court rulings, AA First Amendment violation links > http://courtdecisionsandrulings.com/court-ordered-12-step-attendance-is-illegal.html
The best way to get out of AA (and I have and am currently doing this) is to not actually get out of AA. Weird huh, ok so prepare to get terribly bored while I explain how this works. Because of the structure of AA, it is built on expansion through anonymous members and survives on donations. Ok, not really a big loophole there but here is the gaping hole, in the group startup requirements that a good little scoundrel like me will exploit until forced to do otherwise. “All it takes to start an AA group is two or more poeple with a passion to get sober.” PFFFF you gotta be kidding, me and my friend will do that.
Step 1: Go here http://www.aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=367
Step 2: Click on the PDF to the right and fill out the form
Step 3: Make sure you check the box marked “mail contact”
Step 4: Fill in 2 days at some ridiculous time ie. 3:50am
Step 5: Put in your phone number (prepay then throw away is best) and use your address, a unknowing friends or a drop box for the address
Step 6: Mail off and wait, once you mail it off they will reply to you in about 6 weeks, from the general service office in New York, you will get a group ID number and they will also send you literature in a few weeks (promptly burn on arrival)
Step 7: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT, if anyone asks about your group your ONLY answer is “yes it is registered, everything else is anonymous” if anyone asks who attends or what you talk about “it’s anonymous” should be the only fucking thing out of your mouth, none of this explain what you did bullshit, people are stupid and will ruin it.
Step 8: Kick back and watch everyone who is court mandated to go to AA and laugh (on the inside of course) outward laughter would warrant suspicion.
There you have it, you are now out of court mandated AA, hell you are an over achiever you started your own damn group you should be awarded. Now if you choose to “not” hold any meetings and say you did, or have an imaginary friend be your second body to start the group, no one will ever know. Provided you keep it to yourself.
So, where’s my Medal......it’s ok i’ll wait
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